No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
