I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
