I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
