i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
