sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
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