I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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