Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
