maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
