areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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