i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
