we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
as a side note pls kill me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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