Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
