sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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