It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
