i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
