tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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