This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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