we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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