are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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