I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
