I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
