New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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