If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Someone came in the potted fern
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Pooping to opera.
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