her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
