I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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