And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
