Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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