office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
