jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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