I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
