Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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