The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
