i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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