you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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