everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
