Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My cat gives me a boner
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
