what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
