We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
