I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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