I want to make a zoo with you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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