hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
