you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
