Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
