i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
