Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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