i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
