and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
