Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
