im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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