Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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