I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
