Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
