You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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