do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
