what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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