Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
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I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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