never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
