i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
